


checking in

by aislingdoheanta



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron Dingle gets the support he needs, Aaron Dingle misses Robert Sugden, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Support, Friendship, Multi, Robert Sugden in Prison, Sad Aaron Dingle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 07:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21249800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: The night before Robert's sentencing, Nicola and Jimmy go to check on Aaron. Coda fic to 22nd & 23rd October 2019.





	checking in

**Author's Note:**

> I do not like how Aaron's family have been treating him since Robert's arrest. So I'm writing him to have people who do actually care and want to listen and help him. Those people have turned out to be Jimmy and Nicola because 1. I love them 2. Jimmy is Robert's other best friend and 3. They both also care about Robert. Also, this was written before the sentencing episode so it's not exactly canon compliant; it's more canon adjacent. 
> 
> Originally posted to [tumblr. ](https://saras-almanac.tumblr.com/post/188510763992/checking-in-aaronrobert-aaron-jimmy-nicola)

Nicola walked down the drive with Jimmy at her side.

“I don’t know, Nicola,” Jimmy said quietly. “He might just want to be alone for a night.”

“You’d not be worrying if this was Robert,” Nicola argued. “He’s got to be in bits with the plea hearing tomorrow.”

“I feel like I am,” Jimmy said. “And it’s not my husband.”

“He might as well have been, they way you two acted.”

They stopped in front of the door. There was no sound from inside.

“Maybe he’s at the pub?” Jimmy suggested.

“No. I overheard them say that he hasn’t left the house in ages,” Nicola said. She reached out to ring the bell.

There was no answer.

“Should we try again?” Jimmy asked.

Nicola rang the bell again.

Aaron pulled open violently. “I told ya, you’re not coming tomorrow.”

All three of them stopped and stared.

“I thought you were someone else,” Aaron said quietly.

“Clearly,” Nicola said and pushed passed Aaron to go inside.

“Sorry about just dropping by,” Jimmy said as he walked in as well. “We had some leftover dinner and thought you might like some?”

“So what I can’t take of myself now? Did me mum put you up to this?” Aaron asked, standing at still-open door.

“Chas?” Nicola asked. “I doubt there’s anything she’d ask me to do. And even less that I’d agree to do for her.”

The three of them stood there awkwardly.

“Well cheers, but I’m not hungry.” Aaron slumped down against the wall. 

Aaron had never been a well-dressed or put-together man. He wasn’t like Robert in that respect, but she hadn’t seen him look so run-down in ages. Probably not since after he got out of prison… Maybe not even then. He had bags under his eyes, eyes that were red and puffy. He just looked a mess.

“No bother,” Jimmy said. “I’ll just go and put this in the kitchen then, eh? You can heat it up whenever you like.”

Aaron jerked up from where he was leaning against the wall and rushed to shove something behind a pillow on the sofa. Nicola hadn’t a chance to see what it was, but it was blue and she had a feeling it was something of Robert’s.

“How’s he doing?” Nicola asked quietly, sitting on the chair.

“I dunno,” Aaron said, sitting down on the sofa. “I haven’t been able to talk to him since Friday. And now Paddy’s taken my phone. I swear that if Robert calls me tonight and I don’t get to talk to my husband…”

“What’s he taken your phone for?” Nicola asked.

Aaron sighed and closed his eyes. “Reckons I was gonna do something stupid.”

“Was he right?” Nicola asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” Aaron said. “I can’t do anything now.”

“Still not right that he took your phone,” Jimmy said as he came to where they were sitting. “You want me to go and have a word with him?”

“It wouldn’t do any good,” Aaron said quietly. “They’d just lock me up again.”

“They what?” Nicola said.

“He found out that I was… gonna try and break Robert out,” Aaron admitted. “And then he locked me in here. He only got out after taking my phone and passports to get to my mum.”

Nicola and Jimmy shared a look.

“She’s having the baby,” Aaron said. “Or maybe she’d done now. They asked me if I wanted to come as if my husband’s not locked away? As if I care about anything else right now.”

“It’s all right to miss Robert you know,” Jimmy said softly as he sat on the other end of the sofa. “I know it’s not the same cause he was your husband and all, but I miss him too.”

Aaron looked over at him and nodded. Robert would be beside himself to see Aaron so distraught, so alone and Nicola couldn’t help but feel bad for Aaron. They’d never really been close—she was more Robert’s friend after all. But maybe this was something more she could for Robert, and for Aaron.

“Even I’m missing him,” Nicola said. “And he drove me up the wall most days.”

“Cheers,” Aaron said. He picked at his hands, twirling his wedding ring.

“How are you holding up?” Nicola asked.

“Gotta be strong, don’t I?” Aaron said. “For Rob, Liv. Mum and Paddy.”

“You lost your husband,” Jimmy said. “I don’t think you can be strong through that.”

Nicola nodded at Jimmy. He sometimes put his foot in it, but his earnestness was always so endearing. He just cared so much.

“It could be twenty years or longer,” Aaron said quietly and Nicola heard the pain and tears in his voice. “What if it’s life? What am I gonna do then?”

“It might not be,” Nicola said. “Don’t worry about that just now.”

“I can’t do anything but worry about it. He’s in there, locked up, alone and probably terrified. And he did it for me,” Aaron said. “And now he expects me to just walk away from him?”

“I don’t think he thinks that,” Nicola said.

“He’s already sent himself to prison so I’d have a chance at a normal life—like I want, like I _have_ any life without him,” Aaron said. “I just have this horrible feeling that he’s gonna push me away. And I can’t handle that.”

Jimmy and Nicola stayed quiet again, just trying to let Aaron get out what he needs.

“I’m sure my family would love that though,” he said bitterly after a minute.

“They don’t want to see you unhappy,” Jimmy said.

“They don’t care about my happiness so long as I’m here, with them, and doing what they think is best. The day after my husband was arrested, they told me that he did the right thing, turning himself in and going to prison, leaving me. That I was better off without him. Who says that to someone? Who says that when my husband just gave up his life, our future, so I didn’t have to go on the run?” Aaron asked angrily.

“They probably didn’t mean it like that,” Jimmy tried.

“They did. They’ve always hated Robert. I just thought that maybe, because I loved him so much, that they would just accept that. But it’s like they’re looking at this as a way for me to start over, with someone they like more.” Aaron took a deep breath. “It’s like the five years we spent together means nothing. _Robert_ means nothing. And what I feel for him means nothing.

“They expect me to just wash my hands of him cause he’s in jail and that he ‘deserves’ it cause some idiot died—like Robert is a cold-blooded killer and he’s not! And they’d have had Robert’s head if he tried to do that to me when I went to prison. And I deserved it! Robert planned a wedding so I knew that he wasn’t leaving me, that I’d still have him.” Aaron let out a breath. “I can’t just get over him, turn my back. And even if I could, I don’t want to. And they don’t get that.”

“Then screw them,” Nicola said. Aaron looked up at her and she saw the tears falling from his eyes. “I mean it. Robert did this for you, so you’re allowed to do whatever you want to cope. If you don’t want to visit that’s your choice—or maybe partly Robert’s. If you want to wait for him, then wait. It’s your life, Aaron. It’s your marriage. If they can’t get that then that’s on them.”

Aaron wiped at his eyes.

“Anyone could see how mad you are for each other,” Jimmy said. “Even if it’s 20 years in prison, that won’t dim that. It won’t just go away overnight, even if you were trying.”

“I just miss him so much,” Aaron said. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do without him. Like the business. Our home. How am I supposed to just carry on like he’s not missing?”

“What you do, is take it one day at a time, all right?” Nicola said. “What have got tomorrow?”

“Robert’s… Robert’s got his plea hearing,” Aaron said.

“All right. So you’ll have to get ready for that. Do you know what you want to wear?” Nicola asked him, finally feeling like she was in her wheelhouse again.

Aaron nodded. “This one black shirt.”

“Aren’t all your clothes black?” Jimmy asked.

“Not all of them,” Aaron defended.

“You know how you’re getting there?” Nicola asked.

“Yeah. I’m gonna drive.” Aaron sniffed. “I’m gonna try to get there early in case I can see him.”

“That’s good,” Nicola said. “Who’s coming with you?”

“No one.”

“Aaron, you need someone with you,” Jimmy said.

“I’m not bringing anyone in my family who thinks that Robert deserves this or that I need to just get over him,” Aaron said. “Robert deserves to be as supported as he can.”

“Why don’t I go with ya?” Jimmy offered. “He’s my friend and I’d like to offer some support if I can.”

“No. I’ll be fine,” Aaron said.

“But—”

“He said he’d be fine, Jimmy,” Nicola interrupted. “Do you know how he’s gonna plead?”

“He’s gonna have to plead guilty, doesn’t he?” Aaron said. “He already plead guilty once so he can’t really go changing his plea. All I can hope is that he gets a lenient sentence.”

Aaron breathed out again. “But he’s up for murder so it’s gonna be at least ten years, if not longer.”

“Focus on one day at a time, right?” Nicola said.

Aaron let out a breath again.

“Did you need to bring anything with you tomorrow?” Nicola asked.

“Um… I have a bag for him,” Aaron said. “Some of his clothes and stuff. I don’t know what they’re going to let him keep, but I’m hoping some of it.”

“Did you need to get anything else for it?” Jimmy asked. “Like one of your hoodies? Or maybe a letter?”

“I dunno if he’d want that.” Aaron twisted his ring again.

“I think he would,” Jimmy said. “Knowing you’re letting him borrow one of your jackets. Seeing a note from you.”

“It’s not too much?” Aaron asked. “He has to get through this and I don’t want to make it harder on him.”

“No matter what he’s going through, he’ll always want to know how you’re doing,” Jimmy said. “He’d want to know if you’re struggling and that you miss him. I’m not saying that it won’t hurt him, but I’m sure that he’d rather know than not. You’d want to know, right?”

Aaron nodded. “Yeah. When I went inside, I took his shower gel with me.”

“Aw, that’s actually quite romantic,” Nicola said. “Didn’t know you had it in ya.”

Aaron cracked a smile. “Robert wouldn’t want that, but maybe something else. I’ll think about it.”

“What else can you do for tomorrow?” Nicola asked, trying to keep Aaron focused.

“I have to grab a suit for Robert.”

“You know what suit?” Nicola asked.

“The blue one. It’s his favorite,” Aaron said. “I might have to iron it.”

“I’ll take care of that,” Jimmy said. “You want me to go and check?”

Aaron nodded. “Thanks. It’s handing by the laundry.”

“No problem,” Jimmy said as he got up. “I’m used to doing a bit of ironing.”

“So we have tomorrow figured out, right?” Nicola asked and Aaron nodded. “So we just keep doing that until it gets a little easier.”

“It’ll never get easier being without him,” Aaron said.

“No,” Nicola said. “But the other things, everyday life will get a little easier, less overwhelming.”

“I can’t say goodbye to him,” Aaron said. “It’ll kill me.”

“It’s not goodbye forever,” Nicola said. “If you think for one second that he wouldn’t come find you as soon as he’s out and see if he still has a chance, you’re mad.”

“I’ll always want him,” Aaron said. “No matter how much time passes.”

Nicola nodded. “Why don’t you call the prison? See if you can talk to him?”

“I don’t have my phone,” Aaron said.

“Use Jimmy’s,” Nicola said. “And if you can’t talk to him right now, you can give them Jimmy’s number and ask them to have Robert call that one. Jimmy give us your phone.”

“You got it,” Jimmy said, walking over and handing it to Nicola.

“He’s gonna ask why I’m calling on Jimmy’s phone,” Aaron said, twisting his ring. “What do I tell him?”

“The truth,” Nicola said.

“He’s gonna worry,” Aaron said. “I don’t want to do that to him.”

“He’s gonna worry about you no matter what,” Jimmy said.

“And it’s not like he’s had his share of reckless plans,” Nicola said. “He’ll probably think it’s dead romantic that you were trying to jail break him. Though he might be a little upset that you’re risking your neck.”

Aaron nodded and took the phone. “Um. Do you mind if I go upstairs? Just in case I can talk to him?”

“Course not,” Jimmy said. “Tell him we miss him.”

Aaron just shuffled up the stairs, already phoning the prison.

“Jimmy look under that pillow, will ya?” Nicola asked as she pointed at the pillow nearest Aaron.

Jimmy pulled out a blue jumper, one that had elbow patches. “Is the Robert’s?”

Nicola sighed. “Yeah. He’s not doing well, is he?”

“Did you really expect him to? He just lost his husband,” Jimmy said.

“I just thought that he’d have some support, I guess,” Nicola said. “I always knew them Dingles were a piece of work.”

“You’d think whatever issues they may have had with Robert they’d get over seeing Aaron so distraught,” Jimmy said. “I think we should check in on him a bit more. Make sure he’s not alone.”

“Maybe he can do a bit of babysitting?” Nicola suggested. Jimmy just looked at her. “Was just a thought. He doesn’t have to.”

Aaron came down and looked just as frustrated as before. “Said they couldn’t let me talk to him right now, but maybe later. He did take Jimmy’s phone number down.”

“Just keep it for the night, yeah?” Jimmy said. “I can get it back any time tomorrow. I know where you live, right?”

“That was an awful joke,” Nicola said.

“Robert would have liked it,” Jimmy said.

“Yeah, well Robert has a horrible sense of humor,” Aaron said.

The three stood there awkwardly for a minute before Jimmy went over to give Aaron a hug. Nicola wasn’t sure who was more surprised: herself or Aaron.

“Just take care of yourself, right?” Jimmy said. “Robert wouldn’t want you to run yourself ragged for him.”

“I’ll try,” Aaron said, his hands sort of hovering over Jimmy’s back.

“And you call me if anyone gives you any grief about Robert,” Jimmy said as he pulled away.

“What, you’ll put the fear of god in ‘em?” Aaron asked.

“I might not. But I can send Nicola after them.” Jimmy nodded back toward her.

“Thanks,” Aaron said. “For coming by. Listening to me.”

“What are friends for, eh?” Jimmy said.

“Take care,” Nicola said. “And know we send our love with you tomorrow. To Robert as well.”

Aaron nodded and went to the door with them.

“You don’t have to be strong tomorrow if you can’t be,” Jimmy said quietly. “Just being there is the most important thing.”

“I can’t be a mess though, can I?” Aaron asked. “Might be the only chance I get to see him.”

“You’ll get loads more chances,” Jimmy said. “Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be a certain way, all right?”

“Yeah. Guess so,” Aaron said.

“I’ll be in the office on Friday,” Jimmy said. “If you can’t make it, I’ll cover your stuff, so don’t worry about that.”

“Yeah,” Nicola said. “Robert already roped me in to do the books for you lot weeks ago.”

“He did?” Aaron asked.

“When he was panicked about going away, he wanted to make sure the businesses were okay and to try and find a way to take some of the burden off you.” Nicola said.

Aaron cleared his throat. “Good of him. I hate accounts.”

Nicola pretended not to hear the tears in Aaron’s voice and tried to get out of the Mill as quickly as she could. “We’ll be off then.”

“Call if you need anything,” Jimmy said.

Aaron nodded and they walked out into the night. Nicola tried to pretend she wasn’t leaving a heartbroken man behind.


End file.
